Got Patience..??

Today's world is full of people who want to become successful overnight, want to become rich in the shortest amount of time, want fame quickly. May people possess that special talent, that passion to achieve what they desire but quite often they don't have the patience to wait for the right opportunity to strike.  Nowadays people want everything, in that desire they try to force things to go their way or try so unbearably hard which ultimately only leads to frustrations and undesirable results and I have no shame to accept that in a way, I was one of victim of it too for sometimes.

Sometimes the words we use confuse and mislead us. For example, I have often heard my friends saying that he/she  is 'LOSING patience' or not being able to 'FIND the patience' to deal with a situation and I would like to suggest them please Don't get deceived into believing that patience can be lost or found. It is not a commodity. It is a ‘DECISION’. It is a decision to wait. It is a decision to hold on to your dream despite any delays you may have to put up with. Though, I also believe this decision taking capability obviously get built up from Strong Self Belief of your capability and discipline.

Here is one short story which I was been told when I was going through one of such emotions..some of you might have heard this before:

A boy who for years had been told by everyone that he had very little patience was one day found to be praying. 

"O Lord, give me the amount of patience I need; and please better do hurry up about it."

Since then, Every now and then when I found myself getting impatient; I picture myself being that boy and laugh out loud. 

This is yet another example of how to control our so-called "uncontrollable" emotions. By associating a funny story with an undesirable emotion, I give myself an opening - a chance to stop for a moment and look at what I'm doing. And most of the time, I realize that what's getting me all tangled is so insignificant!

I know by now, while reading through this line you must be definitely thinking ‘me being silly about it’!  So be it…but please read on..…because what I realized there is “Understandably, given that strange situation to anyone dealing with me at that point would give me that reaction”. One minute we could be arguing, and about to tear each other apart, and the next I'm laughing. I suppose I would wonder about such a person's state of mental sanity too. But think about it - what better way to break the tension?

How many people get into arguments that literally break up relationships -  over petty stuff! One word leads to another and before they know it, it's ten years later and they have no idea of why they lost touch. If they backtrack, they realize that it all started over something so insignificant that they're too embarrassed to admit or disclose it. 

So, even at the risk of looking ridiculous, the next time that you are about to lose your sovereignty over your mind and your body, remember the boy! And While you're laughing, explain why. The next thing you know, you'll both be laughing, and then -  you'll both be able to really talk and listen.

With patience you can bear up under any adversity and survive any defeat. With patience you can control your destiny and have what you will. Patience is the key to contentment, for you and for those who must live with you. To be brave without patience can kill you. To be ambitious without patience can destroy the most promising of careers. Patience is power. Employ it to stiffen your spirit, sweeten your temper, stifle your anger, bury your envy, subdue your pride, bridle your tongue, restrain your hands, and deliver you whole, in due time, to the life you deserve."   :)

Love your Critics!

In the world of Reviews, Opinions and Critiques, I always found critique is more of beneficiary tool for human being for their advancement on this planet than discouragement. Yes, I am saying so because it’s like of how you perceive and adapt it. I love being with critics and always enjoy keeping them around me as they are the best teachers and motivators for me in my life. I always found that most of the times, they helped me to get the better of me.

                        

Reasons are obvious:

-- Because by criticizing they actually tell you indirectly that yes you have capability of doing that which according to their understanding you just cannot.

-- They always try to make you feel you are at your place because of fluke and now would not stay there any longer…This is the time when I realize okay if you say so..maybe now I need to go one place up above than where I am. Sometimes, this really brings a bit mischievous smile within me and asked me to gear up for another quest.

I do not have great deal of experience but this what I tried most of the times it worked almost all the time for me. It’s not scientific formula to be honest which I follow always but I do believe in it strongly. Hopefully this will help you all in those bad times.

 Don’t react to them immediately but do show up your face right up on their noses. Let your critics know the leader you are. Adopting a “hide in bunker” attitude will only encourage to them. It gives them freedom to unleash their paintbrushes on you however they like — demon, useless, undeserved, or do-nothing attitude person. By showing up you demonstrate that you are not afraid and ready for another quest more positively.

 Take it as you love it. Be open to them and always say that you agree to their disagreements. This help to confuse them and make them realize what is their AIM on saying that. Do they want make you fall from your place or just want to make you uncomfortable or pose you as another BAD fellow.

 Stay calm and Be cool. When people criticize you to your face, breathe deeply. As an opponent's voice rises, lower yours. Speak deliberately and with a sense of calm. The more control you have of your emotions, the stronger you will appear. No one disagree the fact that “The more calm you, the better for you and your brain to speak smartly and strategically”.

 Smile all the time. This demonstrates that you are in control. Smile when appropriate, but never smirk. Don't let them see you sweat, either. Smiling keeps you on a more even keel. Sometimes, this makes them vulnerable to making mistakes by going beyond their limit. Apparently this posture them as Villain in neutral audience.

 Acknowledge your Bad Situation and Timing. Standing up to criticism is an opportunity to admit your own failings. Do this with a sense of sincerity, as you are showing them your positive emotions and passion. Make Neutral Audience realize that you have done what you think is best with the best of your intensions. At the same time, do not be defensive. Act with honest confidence, even when you admit mistakes. Sometimes showing losing some rope on Tug of war might help you to win them all convincingly.

 Never be Aggressive and Criticize gently. The spotlight may be on you, but the heat is also on your critics. When get chance to give it back, do it with a sense of diplomacy. Don’t take on individuals rather show that you are taking this up on you and all. This helps you to reduce their unnecessary importance and kills them inside with the fact that they are nothing for you and you just ignore them as senseless person. While getting in all this, Always make sure that you are not even nearby of taking any revenge feeling which help you focus on yourself for getting better for future than thinking of deteriorating your critiques to dust. It’s also good idea to have a good-natured jibe here or there for you as well as others. It reveals your humanity.

 Leave them wanting more. You must know when to pull shutter on the engagement even though its look like you are winning the debate. You can ruin your well earned good fortune thing by hanging around on stage to finish them all. It’s always great idea to get off stage and let others react on your position which sometimes helps to clear your bad impression and also shows that you are not there win over the world and adds extra sincerity points. This is really very important and I have learned this lesson by hard way in my work environment.



Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)



To be honest, I realized this by observing most of people in my lives, but sorry would not be able to mention any of those names here but at the same time, I will also like to give few names who I follow for similar things likes of Barack Obama, MS Dhoni, AB Vajpayee.



End of all, I would like to underline the fact that one of very famous American lecturer/writer has said it before “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving..” So, I would say if you have critiques then don’t be afraid of them, on top of it love them and keep them with you always because in today’s world they are the ones who drive you from potential to your growth and bring that feeling of satisfaction & adds extra value to your achievements.